Reclaiming my home

About 6 months after we were married, my husband and I got a cat. We adopted him from Animal Aid society and from the beginning, he was a great cat. We named him Zack, after 2 of our favorite actors. He was so different from other cats, in that he wanted our affection and attention. He loved to play and interact with us. He would meet us at the door when we got home from work everyday to have his belly rubbed. People who knew him swore he was a dog in a cat's body. He slept on our bed at night and was just a super pet.

Then I had children.

Shortly after we brought Elijah home, Zack started to mark his territory. He peed on shoes, purses, furniture, clothes...you name it. He ruined so many nice things at a time when we didn't have the money to buy nice things anymore. I felt terrible, because I knew he wasn't being bad. He was just being a cat. After awhile, the acting out stopped and things settled down. We figured this was just his initial reaction to the new baby and now that he was used to him, things would go back to normal.

Bring on baby #2.

This time he not only peed on everything, he was knocking over the bassinet. Once he even managed to knock it over when the baby was in it! Because I have a toddler, I was forced to keep Zack closed in a room all day with his food and litter box because I couldn't even so much as change Elijah's diaper without being concerned for what Zack would do to Micah when I had my back turned. It was at this point that we decided that for his sake, and ours, Zack needed a new home. His life had become something depressing and not at all fun. I didn't really blame him for acting out, but that doesn't mean I could allow it to continue.

Finding a new home for a cat is harder than one might think. Because we didn't know anyone actively seeking a cat, our first contact was a "no-kill" shelter. They said they could not take him because he had a history of litter box issues, so no one would adopt him. This was so frustrating, because I felt certain that his litter box issues were entirely situational, but I couldn't prove it. So our next attempt was Craig's List. I struggled with this one. Even though I knew that 99% of the people looking for a cat on Craig's List were good, decent people just wanting a companion, I was haunted by the idea that I could choose the wrong person and send Zack off to a very unpleasant, and even dangerous, home. So although I placed an ad and got responses, I never followed through. I would rather live in a peed in house than know that I had (indirectly) harmed this sweet kitty.

So time went by. We really didn't know what to do. Poor Zack's life had become pretty sad. No kitty toys (the kids would find them and chew on them). No lap time (we rarely had time anymore to just sit and let him lounge with us). No freedom (as I mentioned before, he was locked in the bedroom most of the day). I wanted so badly for him to have a home where he could receive the love and attention that he deserved, but I didn't know how to find it.

Then one day, our friend Mary emailed me to say that a friend of hers from work was looking for a kitty and might want Zack. I was over the moon!! Amy and I emailed back and forth, she asked me questions about Zack and I was up front with the litter box issues, but she felt the same that I did....it was situational. After a few weeks of emailing and thinking about it, Amy and I planned a date, time and place to meet for the cat drop.

That date was today. Today my sweet kitty went to live with someone who is going to love on him and spoil him rotten. He will again have freedom, toys, lap time and attention. Amy will no doubt rub Zack's belly when she gets home from work every day, and that makes me so happy.

It also makes me happy that I no longer have a litter box in my bedroom. That I can leave a glass of water sitting out and not worry that when I get back to it, it will have kitty cooties. That I don't have to worry that next time I put on a pair of shoes, I will find they have been ruined by a cat with sibling-rivalry. Today Zack has reclaimed his happy life and I have reclaimed my house.

Read more...

Household Hints by Kim

If you are finding it hard to get motivated to clean your kitchen floor, try this sure-fire method to get you going: Dump a whole container of cut watermelon on the floor. In order for this to work, you need to make sure that when you remove the fruit from the fridge, the lid to the tupperware is not all the way on, and that the watermelon is good and juicy. This will cover your floor with a sticky film, miraculously giving you the energy you need to clean it!

I find it especially effective to do this when my husband is working late and my kids are screaming for dinner. It makes me work faster.

Read more...

Abba, Father

What a day I have had!!
After all the faith I expounded on in my last two posts, I almost lost all of my faith this afternoon. I'm ashamed of it, but if God can still be glorified through it, I'm going to share it with you.

You see, we didn't hear from the repair shop regarding our car until 2:30. This was about 4 hours and 3 messages left for them later than we had expected. In all of this, I was ok. After all...there is glory in the waiting, right? This was just God making sure I meant what I said.

No, as it turns out, it was them avoiding our calls because they had ordered the wrong part not once, but twice, and at 2:30 were finally hoping they had gotten it right. Shortly after that they called us to tell us that the starter had been replaced, but the car still was not starting. There was a problem with the fuel pump. I lost it. Totally lost it.

You see, on Friday night, when things started acting funny, my husband and my dad both promised me it was just the battery. They said "Don't worry, we'll get a new battery in the morning, now go to sleep you silly girl." (Or something like that). So Saturday morning, bright and early, my dad came over and he and Mark went and got a new battery. And put it in the car. And nothing changed. It still wouldn't start. Several hours later, they decide that a professional must be involved, so there is nothing we can do until Monday. This was rough on me (see previous post), but since they both promised me again that it was just the starter, which was fairly easy and relatively inexpensive to replace, I prayed and did my best to have peace in the waiting.

Fast forward to today, when I find out, once again, that my husband's and dad's promises were (while well-intentioned) useless. This is where I got mad with God (how's that for honesty?). I couldn't figure out a reason why a God who promises to take care of us and give us what we need was putting us in a position where we couldn't afford to fix the one car we have!!! So I prayed. And I cried. And I whined. And I told God how I was feeling. I begged Him to intervene and fix our car. I confessed to Him that I knew I wasn't being peaceful or faithful, but I just couldn't help it anymore.

So He fixed it.

Now, I want to go on record as saying that I do not advocate throwing a temper tantrum as the best way to approach God. However, I think what happened today tells a lot about God's character. He loves us. He is not just the Alpha and Omega, Ancient of Days, King of Kings, the Great I AM. He is all of these things, but He is also Abba, which means Daddy. God loves me enough to know that I was at my limit. It may be that He is going to require that I stretch my limit in the future, but for today, because He is my Abba, He fixed my car.

(I want to also include a thank you to my husband and my earthly father, who went above and beyond this weekend to make this as easy on me as possible. To praise God in this does not diminish what they did. God used them, and they allowed themselves to be used.)

Read more...

An Update

As I'm typing this, I still do not have my car, but by the time many of you are reading this, I hopefully will. It was a long weekend, folks. Because all of this happened on a Saturday, there was nothing we could do until yesterday. God was having to work something out in me that He has been working on for awhile. Peace in the waiting. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He waited 4 LONG days before doing so. Mary, Martha and every other friend and family member of Lazarus were grieving, and so was Jesus. The Bible says that he wept over the death of his friend. And yet he still waited. Because there was glory for God in the waiting. By waiting those 4 days, he was making sure that everyone knew that Lazarus was indeed dead, and had been dead, but because no one around Him knew what He was doing, they kept questioning. They couldn't understand why He didn't just heal Lazarus when he was sick, and once he had died, why Jesus hadn't gone and mourned with Mary and Martha. Because Jesus knew the bigger picture, and that there was glory in the waiting.

I am an impatient person. I don't want to wait, let alone have peace while I'm waiting. Yet God has required of me on several occasions lately to rely on His peace. What I'm happy to report is that I was much more victorious this time than in times past, but we still have work to do.

The car needed a new starter. They called yesterday and gave us a quote, and said the car would be ready this morning. So I'm waiting for the call that will officially end this ordeal. Financially, it's a burden that we can handle. Things could have been so much worse, and I'm just so thankful that it was as simple as it was. I'm also thankful for another opportunity to learn to rely on His peace. There is glory in the waiting.

Read more...

Holding my Breath

Staying home with my boys is simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing I have ever done in my life. When I look at my boys and how amazing they are, I don't question ever my decision to spend every day with them. That does not mean, however, that making it a reality is easy. Far from it.

On paper, Mark and I can not afford to live like we do. Not because my husband doesn't make enough money, but because it is so expensive to even exist these days. We have had to cut things out of our lives significantly in order to be successful at these choices we've made. We haven't ever had a vacation as a married couple, we rarely get new clothes or shoes and we have prepaid cell phones with only enough minutes for emergencies. I clip coupons like a mad woman and have learned how to make good, mostly healthy meals for our family on a lean grocery budget. We rarely rent or go to the movies and going out to eat in a restaurant is a splurge. My husband takes mass transit to work so we can have only one car and pay for "recreational use" car insurance instead of commuter rates. We have had to be creative and God has been good.

As I was typing that list, I realized that to some of you, living without those things may sound horrible. The truth is, I rarely miss them. Make no mistake, sometimes I miss them desperately, but only rarely. You see, God has been faithful. As just one example, when Mark was looking for a job that would afford me the opportunity to stay home, God gave him a job that subsidized all but $100 a YEAR for his light-rail pass (We'd pay close to that in a month in GAS alone for him to get to work), so we were able to sell a car, lose a car payment, and use the equity in the car to pay off other miscellaneous bills. When we were surprised with our second son and wondered how we would be paying our medical deductible, Mark got a bonus check. When we were surprised with our second son and didn't know how we would pay for diapers and such, God blessed Mark with a 9% raise! I am often quoted as saying that if God can make manna fall from the sky, why not money? When we've needed it, it has come from out of nowhere. Bonuses are not a regular part of Mark's job, and he wasn't due for a raise when he got one.

So why am I holding my breath today? Our ONE vehicle isn't working. I won't confuse or bore you with the details. We thought it was the battery (see yesterday's post), and it partially was, but there is more to it and after a few hours, Mark and my dad decided a professional needs to be involved. Which is expensive. So here I am again, knowing first hand how faithful God is, and yet I'm still anxious about this. How is that possible?

It's possible because I'm human. That's not an excuse, it's simply a fact. We aren't capable of having peace-that-passes-all-understanding on our own. It is provided to us through the Holy Spirit, and ladies, I am having trouble letting the Holy Spirit reign in my life today. I keep wanting to figure out a way to "fix" this, when I know that I can't. I keep wanting it to just "go away", when I know that it won't. So I decided to type this post. Not only to remind myself of the things God has done for our family, but to remind myself of all the people out there who could be reading this, just wishing their biggest problems were car problems. Perspective can really help change things. And as I'm finishing up this post, I'm finding that God has already begun to bless me with perspective, and I'm on my way to peace.

Philipians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:28-34
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Read more...

One of those weeks....

Have you ever had one of those days? You know...the kind of day that when you start to blow dry your hair, you realize you forgot to rinse out the conditioner in the shower? The kind of day where your toddler decides he does not like macaroni and cheese, and the only suitable place for it is all over the floor? The kind of day that, although his mac and cheese belongs on the floor, his corn belongs up his nose?

Because that is what my week has been. Not my day. My week. Please understand, nothing horrible has happened. It's just been one of those days..er...weeks. My kids are finally sleeping successfully through the night in the same room and even falling asleep relatively easily. What time they wake up is still all over the map, but at least they sleep in sometimes. We've finally reached the stage in Micah's development that he is very successful in crawling, on all fours, wherever, whenever he wants. This means my furniture is now more interestingly arranged during the day to "trap" him in the living room so I can do things like...go to the bathroom. (Baby gates are great, but they are useless with an open floor plan). And today when I left a friends' house, the car barely started. The battery was losing it's charge. That's what happens when everywhere you go (including church and the grocery store) are within 5 miles of you. So with no extra snacks or bottles, my sons and I had to take a completely pointless, waste-of-gas-in-our-gas-guzzling-vehicle drive to help charge the battery.

So the blog has been quiet. Not because life hasn't thrown me enough adventure this week, but because it's still too soon to have a sense of humor about it all. In fact, as I'm typing this, I realize I sound like a crab. Sorry about that. The truth is, life is good, and my kids are wonderful. I'm just having one of those weeks.....

So here is to having a wonderful weekend, ladies! Next week is a new week and it's going to be great!

Read more...

Prizes!

Make sure you head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and enter their super giveaways between now and July 4th. They will have a new giveaway everyday and you don't have to have a blog! Just click on the picture above and you will be able to enter.

Read more...

Through the Tunnel

There is no point to this post. Only that this picture cracks me up. This was his first trip through the tunnel, and he was determined! to! get! through! it! After all, his big brother does it....so he has to do it, too!

Read more...

I don't remember giving birth to a potato....

Every Friday during the school year, a couple of girlfriends and I take our kids to a local church for their Indoor Park. It's wonderful. It is a safe place to take the kids and let them run off some steam without having to worry about what the weather will be. It is also great because the moms can actually relax (to some degree) because, unlike an actual park, the kids are confined within the 4 walls of the (quite large) room they are in. There are a ridiculous number of toys and structures available for them to play with, climb on and slide down, and my son always leaves very sweaty and red-faced, which is the way I like it!

I like it so much, in fact, that I decided to start my own Indoor Park at my church. Getting it off the ground was a rocky road, but I am happy to report that as of January 2007, my home church has an Indoor Park. This meant that I now had TWO days a week, even in the rainiest of weather, to take my son somewhere and let him burn off some of that testosterone God has blessed him with. At the same time that was happening, I was making new friends. It was a win-win-win (that's an "Office" reference for those of you who don't know) situation. One of the moms I met at Indoor Park was a mom of fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. Every week, the little boy twin would show up carrying one of his sisters shoes. Just one. Always his sisters. Never his mothers, brothers or fathers. Always his twin sisters. I thought it was terribly cute and said a lot about the special attatchment twins have. He couldn't bear to not be close to something that represented the sister he had shared a womb with for 9 months. Which brings me to the point of my post....

Elijah has become obsessed with his "Mr. Potato Head" hats. There are three. A yellow one, a blue one and a green one. He needs to have all three at all times and if one goes missing, the world comes to a screeching halt until it is found. I'm not sure what this says about my son. I've heard that it is normal, and even good, for a child to have a "lovey". Some object that represents security to them. I always imagined this would be a blanket, or a stuffed animal. Not three plastic hats. These are the strange things the parenting books don't tell you about. For now I'm not seeing any reason to intervene with the hats, but I may be making a mistake. Do any of you have any experience with such things and some advice? I'd love it!

Read more...

Priceless

Jamba Juice: Free (with coupon from the paper)

Going for a walk in a beautiful park: Free

Feeding the Ducks: Free

Reading and checking out books at the Library: Free

Spending a fun day as a family: Priceless

The moral of the story? You don't have to spend money to have a great day!

PS...my 9-month old is there, too...he's just behind the camera with mommy!

Read more...

My Little Dinosaur

Today Elijah and I were playing with his Fisher-Price Little People. In our adventure, the Mommy Dinosaur and Baby Dinosaur were separated because the Mommy was locked in the castle (we don't really comprehend Medieval/Prehistoric discrepancy yet). When finally, at last, Mommy and Baby Dinosaur were reunited, Elijah picked up Baby Dinosaur and hugged her, saying "Oh, Baby Dinosaur". It was so cute I grabbed him and hugged him and said "You're MY baby dinosaur" and he looked at me and said "No, Mommy, I'm your baby Elijah". Whatever he says....just as long as I got my hug!

Read more...

Is it Friday yet?

I know there are going to be moms out there who think this is nuts (and it is), but it is my husband, 9 times out of 10, who wakes up with the kids during the night. This may seem extraordinarily unfair since he is also the one who has to be up at 4:30 in the morning, but I promise there are two very good reasons why this is true. The first reason is because even if I DO get up to take care of the baby/toddler, he would still get up with me anyway. He is a ridiculously light sleeper. I can not tell you how many times I have heard the baby/toddler and dragged myself out of a deep sleep to take care of things, only to come back to the bedroom and find my husband wide awake asking me how everything was. Eventually I said that enough was enough. Why were we both waking up when it only takes one of us to take care of the baby/toddler?! He agreed that was silly, but he is such a light sleeper he wouldn't be able to sleep through it. At that point he volunteered to do the waking up. Seriously. That is just the kind of man I married. The second reason that he does the waking up is because he knows what kind of ugliness I can possess when I have not gotten enough sleep. I am just not one of those people who can function (well) on 4-5 hours of sleep. So my husband loves me (and himself) enough to know that if I have gotten sleep, everyone is happier.

(At this point I want to include a disclaimer that I am referring to your average, run-of-the-mill nighttime interruptions. If illness on the part of either my children or husband are involved, I'm up. When Elijah has a night terror, I'm up. I'm not selfish, just sleepy.)

So this brings me to this week. The week of transition. The week that we have moved the baby (after 5 months of false starts) into the nursery. Overall it has gone well. The nights have gone relatively uninterrupted. Bedtime takes a little longer as they each lay in their respective beds and make each other laugh (what are they laughing at? Oh, well), but eventually they fall asleep. The problem has been coming every morning around 5:45. It is about that time that Elijah, lying in bed, will open his eyes and, like a 7-year-old does on Christmas morning, realizes there is something far too exciting going on to roll over and go back to sleep. "Bruber" is in his room!! Sleeptime has ended for all in the house. My husband has already left for work, so he can't rescue me from this one. I must get up.

So today was day 4 of this. Try as I might to go to bed earlier, it just doesn't happen (not to mention I keep carrying the false hope that tomorrow will be the day he doesn't do it), so with every day that passes, I am adding to my sleep deficit. And as I mentioned before, this does not bode well for my mood or my energy level. God has been recieving the same prayer from me every morning this week...that I would be successful in living in the Spirit and not the Flesh, so that my lack of sleep will not matter. And He has been faithful to answer my prayer. My mood has been good. I have had enough energy to get done what needs to be done. But ladies....I am tired! And it's only Thursday.

Read more...

My Routine

I used to be very successful at getting my children and I out the door in the morning for whatever was on the agenda. Considering my husband leaves for work at 5:30 am, this has always been a task that I tackle on my own. During the school year, we have two playgroups and a Bible study every week, not to mention any playdates, zoo dates, doctors appointments, visit to grandparents, you name it....we are there and we are annoyingly punctual. I had our routine down and was very good at multi-tasking my way through the morning, getting 3 individuals bathed, fed, dressed, packed up and out the door.

Lately my routine has gone by way of the garbage. Two events have occurred that have rocked my punctual world. The first was this blog. Try as I may, I can not seem to leave in the morning without posting something on this blog. This takes up valuable time that was never part of the routine before. The second event was moving the baby into the nursery. Mark and I have committed that no matter how many times the baby wakes us up or how early Elijah announces that his brother is in his room, we are going to push through and DO THIS! It makes it so much harder to get myself ready before the kids get up when they are getting up WAY too early. Fortunately the only thing we have on the agenda this week are our morning walks, which require from me no level of cuteness.

So my hope is that this is all going to work itself out this week. That Elijah will just get over the excitement of having his brother in his room and that I will just get over the excitement of having a blog! Hopefully then we can get back to the routine. If not, I may be coming up with a new routine.

Read more...

The one where I step out of the boat

In one of my earlier posts I alluded to a leap of faith God required of me before allowing me to stay home with my boys. This is that story (in case you don't already know it).

The entire time I was pregnant with Elijah, I had intended to go back to work. Not because I wanted to, but because it never even crossed my mind that we could afford for me to stay home. Once he was born, however, I realized I could not take my perfect, precious baby and drop him off anywhere that wouldn't understand just how perfect and precious he was. I didn't want my son to be anywhere that he was just another baby. He deserved to be where he was THE baby. So I started to pray. I had 6 weeks left of my maternity leave and I wanted God to give Mark a new job in that 6 weeks that would allow me to afford to stay home. So I continued to pray. And I asked friends and family to pray. But nothing was happening. I felt so sure that I was supposed to stay home, but since God wasn't providing in the way I thought he should, I wondered if my own desires were clouding my judgement. Did I feel sure I was supposed to stay home because I wanted to, or because God wanted me to?

So I broke down. And I begged God to give me clarity. Time was growing short and I wanted a burning bush to pop up and tell me what to do. I cried out to him and ask that he give me direction and help me to accept whatever direction that was.

And God spoke.

He really did. Not audibly, but to my heart. I was convinced of it at the time, and knowing what I know now, I know I was right. God said "If you are going to have faith, have faith!" It was at that point that I realized I wasn't trusting God at all. He had been telling me to quit my job and have faith, but I refused. I wanted him to provide first, then I would obey. That's not faith, people. So I quit my job. At the time I quit my job, Mark was making $20 LESS a month than what our bills were. I'm just talking bills. Not groceries, diapers, gas, life....just bills.

My first confirmation that Jesus was waiting for me on the waves outside of the boat was when I called my boss' wife. I was working for a wonderful Christian dentist at the time. I called Cheryl to tell her that I wasn't going to be returning from my maternity leave. She said she already knew. She told me that she had felt strongly that that was going to be the case and she was so happy for me. God had not only been speaking to me, he'd been preparing my boss' heart for this decision!

My second confirmation that Jesus was waiting on the waves outside the boat came a little unconventionally. It happened that evening when I got into my car. I was still reeling from the decision that I had made and God knew I needed some comfort. So he sent me a song. I turned on the car and a song was just starting. It wasn't half over. It didn't start after a commercial. I turned on the car and the song began. At the time I had never heard this song before (this was a couple of years ago, remember), and I listened to the words and wept as I sat in my car. The song was 'The Voice of Truth' by Casting Crowns. I'm sure a lot of you know this song and know how powerful it is, but in case you don't....I'm going to include the lyrics.

The Voice of Truth

Oh, what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes

To climb out of this boat I'm in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown

Where Jesus is, and he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name

And the laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again, boy

You'll never win, you'll never win

But the Voice of Truth

Tells me a different story

The Voice of Truth

Says "Do not be afraid"

The Voice of Truth

Says "This is for my glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe

The Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of strength it takes

To stand before a giant

With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors Shaking in their armor

Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name

And he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times

I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"

"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size

To put the giant on the ground

And the waves they don't seem so high

From on top of them lookin' down

I will soar with the wings of eagles

When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus

Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

So this has turned into a super long post already. There is so much more to the story, obviously, since we can now not only afford to pay our bills but we now have two children we are buying diapers for. Some of it was God providing us with more money. Some of it was God requiring us to live with "less" (in this case less is definitely more).

Hopefully someday I will tell some more of the story. The last couple of years are covered in God's fingerprints as he has provided for us in very creative ways. But for now I just hope this part of the story helps you to step out of your boat. He's waiting for you there.

Matthew 14:24-33

The boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Read more...

I love my boys

When I was pregnant with Micah I really wanted a girl. I had my boy....it was time for my girl. Since they are so close together, people would often comment on how fun it would be if they were both boys so they could be the best of buddies. I would smile and nod and secretly think they were nuts....I wanted a girl. I was ready for the frills and dresses and PINK! On the day of my 20-week ultrasound (the one where you get to find out, if you want, what you're having), it was my plan to go straight from the doctor to a store where I could buy something, anything pink. I was convinced I was having a girl. So when Matt, our ultrasound dude (there is no better word for him, he is a dude...totally fun) told us that if we were having a girl she was going to have 3 legs, I was a little disappointed. No pink. Oh, well. I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have two boys...for now. My consolation was the fact that someday I could still have a girl. But things have changed....

I love my boys. I love that they are, even at 2 years and 9 months old, full of testosterone. I love knowing that they are that way because God created them that way. God intended for them to be protectors, hunters, gatherers, providers, and they need to be full of energy and strength to do that. I have learned so much about God's perfect design for us since I have had boys. He has shown me how even from infancy, he starts shaping the men they will become and that it is my husband's and my job to nurture that and never squash it, only shape it and give it boundaries.

In the last month or so, my boys have really begun discovering each other. They make each other laugh and roll the ball to each other. Elijah will stack the blocks and Micah will crawl over and knock them down and it will crack the both of them up. Just this morning, Elijah was laying on the floor, watching Little Einsteins, when Micah crawled over and sat up next to him. He lifted up his arms into the air and with all his weight, body slammed his brother. Elijah thought this was the funniest thing that had ever happened to him. Micah sat up and did it again. And again. In my mind, I caught a glimpse of my boys, a couple of years from now, wrestling on the floor, the best of buddies, and I became very happy that I have two boys.

Read more...

One night down....

Our sons shared a room last night for the first time! This is a major accomplishment considering we had planned for it to happen about 5 months ago. Several things have stood in our way. Illness. Busy-ness. Laziness. Forgetfulness. Not-knowing-how-best-to-do-it-ness. It has been something I truly just did not know how to do. We have had several false starts. Our two-year-old just gets way too excited when his brother is in his room with him and there is no sleeping! Eventually he falls asleep, only to wake up at 3 in the morning excitedly shouting through the monitor that his "Brother is sleeping in the crib!" My husband has to be up for work at 4:30 in the morning and is a light sleeper, so we are very intolerant of being woken up during the night for anything except illness and hunger (just ask our cat). So back into our room the baby would go. I was beginning to think he would be in our room until he left for college.

We decided the best thing to do was make the transition over a weekend, so if we didn't get much sleep, it was OK. Every weekend something would stand in our way. Someone would be sick, and that person would need their sleep uninterrupted. Our schedule would be too full and we would be protective of the rest we felt we needed to get through the busy weekend. Or my favorite....the one where we would look at each other on Sunday afternoon and go "We were supposed to transition Micah to his crib this weekend!" At that we would promise to do it the following weekend, and so the cycle would continue.

So we finally did it. For one full night. And it wasn't too bad. Elijah let us sleep until 6:30 before announcing his brother's presence to us, which was OK because we had to be up for church anyway. Hopefully tonight will go as smoothly and by this time next week, the novelty will have worn off for Elijah and we will have finally been victorious over the merging of rooms! And it only took us 5 months.

Read more...

Happy Birthday to Blog!

My blog is one week old! It's been a really fun week, too. I've gotten some wonderful feedback and it's been a boost to the ego. In so many ways this has been a blessing to me already. I have been able to share things and hear back from so many of you that you have enjoyed my writing and that I have made you laugh. It means the world to me that you all are taking time out of your days to read what I have to say. Hopefully I will continue to live up to the praise I have been given and maybe encourage some of you to start your own blogs!



Thanks so much for a super-fun week and I'm looking forward to many weeks more! You guys are the best!

Read more...

The Doctor

I will never forget when I was about 8-months pregnant with Elijah and a girlfriend asked me if I had chosen a pediatrician yet. Immediately my brain went into panic mode. Not only had I not chosen one, it hadn't even occured to me that I would need to. I know that seems unfathomable, but having your first child is an overwhelming process and I was just happy that we had our crib set up! (Not to mention the fact that it doesn't take a hormonally crazy 8-month pregnant lady much to go into panic mode). So I asked my friend who her pediatrician was. I figured this was perfect...I trusted her, I will trust her pediatrician, problem solved. She went on to tell me how great her pediatrician was and how so-and-so and so-and-so (friends of ours) take their kids to him also and he was listed in Portland Monthly as one of the top 3 pediatricians in Oregon. Awesome! I went from panic to glee in moments. I had hit the jackpot of pediatricians. She finished her description by telling me that he was so good he had to CLOSE HIS PRACTICE! Ouch. Back to panic. Not only did I not have a pediatrician for my baby, I now knew I would never be part of the club of moms who took their kids to Dr. Perfect Pediatrician. I was heart-broken. I settled for second-best and called his clinic anyway. I figured if he was that good, the doctors he chose to practice with were probably pretty good, also. When I called, the gal at the front asked me which doctor I would like to schedule an appointment with. I told her that I really wanted Dr. Perfect Pediatrician, but I knew his practice was closed, so I would like an appointment with Dr. Second-Best. She then told me that Dr. Perfect had just opened his practice for newborns and he would be happy to see our baby! I was so happy I did a little dance! So fast-forward 2 years and both of our boys are patients of Dr. Perfect and he has indeed, been pretty perfect.

That doesn't mean that I like taking my kids to the doctor. On the contrary. I hate it. I feel like I am going on a job interview, where I am proving to everyone there that I am an acceptable candidate for the position of Mother of Elijah and Micah. Please understand, no one there makes me feel this way....it is entirely self-imposed. All of my insecurities as a mother come to a raging head when I am there. I wonder how my kids and I compare to the moms who were there before and after us. It's so silly. But I love my kids, and I want to do right by them. So I have high expectations for myself and going to the pediatrician is probably the closest I will have on this earth as a job review.

Why am I typing all of this? Because Micah has a 9-month checkup with Dr. Perfect today and I need prayer. I am starting to feel that anxiety that I feel whenever it's doctor day and I know it's wrong. I have no reason to believe my kids and I won't compare just fine to the other moms that have been there today, but I think the real problem is....I shouldn't be comparing. It's so tempting as moms to be comparing ourselves and our kids to the moms and kids around us and it is nothing but destructive. So pray for me today, that I feel confident that God has equipped me to raise these kids, and as long as I am listening to Him, I will do right by them. And moms, I will pray the same for you!

Read more...

Free at Last, Free at Last....

Good Morning! (or afternoon or evening, or whenever you're reading this)

I am headed out the door moments from now and I could not be more excited. Due to the combination of rainy weather, sick children and Mark working late, with the exception of a visit to my mom's last night (she took pity on me), I have not left my house since church on Sunday! As much as I have loved being able to tend to my blog every morning like I have been, I have very much missed taking my kids for their morning walk with a girlfriend of mine and her kids. We take our double strollers and plow our way through a nature walk that is good excercise for us and fun for our kids. So I will not be posting anything interesting this morning, because I won't be home! Hooray!

But I'll be back later with something profound to say, I'm sure. :)

Have a good day!

Read more...

The Humidifier

One of the trickiest parts of learning to live on just my husband's income is knowing when it's actually worth it to buy the more expensive of something. It has been a trial and error process for me. Very often the generic brand of something is just as good (or good enough) as the more expensive version. As a general rule, if you see a name brand item in my refrigerator or my pantry, you know it must have been on sale. And I had a coupon. That I doubled. There are some things, however, that I will not buy generic. Mayonnaise is one example. The first time I switched from Venus razors to store brand disposable, I felt like I was 12 years old shaving my legs for the first time, they were so mutilated. So I learned that is not a good way to save money. Any pennies I saved on razors were spent on band-aids.

This brings me to the point of my story. A while back, when my husband and I went to the store to purchase a humidifier, we were presented with several choices. I had done my homework, researched the difference between cold and warm, and found that which one was preferred depended on whom you spoke to. Both had their positives and negatives. So with those things being equal, Mark and I decided there could be no possible reason to buy a $75 humidifier when there was a $15 sitting on the shelf right next to it (made by Vick's....we trusted Vick's to do right by us). Steam is steam and if it produced steam it was doing it's job. Right? Wrong. The reason that we ended up with black mold in our kids' room was because it was producing too much steam. But the mold didn't pop up over night and we didn't realize until just this spring what was going on. (Don't judge...this was our first humidifier...I didn't know how much steam was too much steam. Now I do.) We decided next fall, when cold and flu season began again, we would invest in a nice new, humidifier. Little did we know that cold and flu (and croup) season would hit again in June. Which led me to my previous post debating whether or not to pull out the beast of a humidifier. Purchasing a new one was not in this payday's budget, so I had a dilema on my hands. Until....

Our friends stepped up. And offered to loan us theirs (I knew this blog would come in handy for something). I know to these friends, this was not a big deal. Of course they would let us use it! But to us, it was a very big deal. We slept last night without having to worry about whether we were actually harming our son more by having the humidifier on. He got a good night's sleep and so did we, and that is priceless. So thank you friends. For your generosity and for offering when we didn't bother to ask. So the moral of the story, kids, is don't wait for your friends to ask. They may not. If someone has a need and you can meet it, meet it! (Oh, and don't buy cheap humidifiers!)

Read more...

God has a sense of humor...

I was asking for it. I really was. I knew it as soon as I posted my nice, lazy summertime post. Because God loves to laugh as much as we do (we're created in his image, you know), and this was just too tempting for him to ignore.

My 9 month old refuses to roll over. He has done it, so officially it has been checked off the "milestone checklist", but he won't do it any more. He is too busy sitting on his bottom and bouncing everywhere he wants to go (he also does a strange combination of a rambo/caterpillar/push-up thing instead of actually crawling, but that's not important to this post). In general this is a very cute thing to watch him do. This morning, it became my worst nightmare. After groggily carrying him to the living room and placing him on the floor with some toys while I desperately searched for caffiene (another long night....a story for another post), he bounced, bounced, bounced away, ejecting poop out the back of his diaper all across the living room carpet. Due to my sleepless haze, I didn't notice right away, so he bounced, bounced, bounced right back over it, making sure it was nicely rubbed into the carpet and that I would be able to do little to remove it all. I tried my best, but it was pretty futile. On top of all this, he had been fed carrots for dinner last night (I'll let your imagination take care of what that means). So I have a house full of people coming over tonight, and I am going to have a very strangely positioned Mickey Mouse rug in the middle of my living room. Fortunately the people coming over are the greatest of friends and will only enjoy the poop on the carpet as an opportunity to mock me, so I'm not worried about it. But mom, dad....if you're reading this....we need to borrow your carpet shampoo-er.

Read more...

Summertime

It's summertime. Maybe not "officially", but I think we're all feeling like summer has started. Memorial Day has passed, Spider-Man3, Pirates 3 and Shrek 3 are all in the theatres, we have a new American Idol, and it's getting hotter outside (if you live near me you know this was true until today, at least). The days are getting longer and lazier. If you're anything like our family, a lot of what drives your schedule from September to May has come to an end. Your calendar is dotted with camping trips and a BBQ or two, and if you're lucky, a great vacation, but there are far fewer obligations to fill up your Monday through Friday. This is where I am finding myself. There is a part of me who loves the break from the routine. Waking up in the morning and realizing that the only thing I have to do that day is play with my kids. Those are fun days. But those days are not very exciting. I realized tonight as I sat down to post something else that nothing of interest to anyone beyond the walls of our home had happened. We played with toys and then put them away for lunch. The boys napped (yes the nap was successful!) and then we played some more. We watched 'Veggie Tales' and had dinner (Elijah asked for thirds of what I made!), the boys had baths and then went to bed. And it was great. I had no temper tantrums to pull my hair out over. No one drew all over himself and his brother with a ball point pen. No one took off his own diaper peed on his bed. It was a nice, lazy day. One like I hope my summertime is full of. Unfortunately that doesn't give me much fodder for my new blog, but I'm sure I'll manage. I'm also sure that as much as I would love a summer full of nice, lazy days, I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old....it's not gonna happen!

Read more...

Can you get croup in June?

So apparently my 2 year old has the croup. Again. The first time he had it was in December. He started barking like a seal in the middle of the night. I grew up reading 'Anne of Green Gables' and 'Little House on the Prarie', so I was under the mistaken assumption that croup was a much more serious illness than it actually is in 2007. So there was more hysteria on my part than was necessary, and this time around, I know not to worry so much. But that doesn't make it any more fun. He was up a better part of the night until I finally gave in and turned on the humidifier. Even though it had been 90 degrees all weekend and last time we turned on the humidifier, we ended up with black mold growing around the windows (another post for another day). So he is now eating his lunch and I am getting ready to put him down for his nap. I am debating whether or not to turn on the humidifier. Nap time is essential not only to his little two-year old body, but also to my 31 year-old body. As I have said before, my husband often works long hours and my days become loooong when nap time is missed, abreviated, or refused by Elijah. I require that time for my mental, physical and spiritual health. And to eat my lunch and check my email. Priorities. Yet as important as nap time is, that black mold is not fun to try and get rid of. So I think we're going to have a go at it without the humidifier. Hopefully the Robitussin did it's job and Elijah and I will both get a little rest. Otherwise my next post might be one venting my frustration at having a very sick and cranky two-year old on my hands. Say a prayer for us!

Read more...

Day 2

My blog is approaching 24 hours old. I've read on other blogs how addicting blogging is and I've never really understood it. Now I do. I kept finding myself wandering over to my computer yesterday to add some new little goodie to my site and felt like a computer genius everytime I did. I know I'm not. I just felt like one. This morning I actually wrote on my 'TO DO' list for today "Blog Post". Like I needed to be reminded. In fairness, I did want to make sure I posted something today. I want to get into a habit of adding something to the blog so if I just happen to have someone wander in here who isn't related to me or a long time friend, then they actually might want to come back! I'm not sure this post qualifies as interesting, though, so I think I may have to add something else later. What a shame. Maybe I'll go add "Another Blog Post" to my 'TO DO' list.

Read more...

Now about me....

My first post was like my mission statement. It was ultra serious and very lofty. I meant every word of it. However, it doesn't tell you much about me, except that I am a Christian and I read blogs. I can't imagine anyone reading this who doesn't already know me, so I feel silly typing too much info about myself, but just in case someday someone wants to know who this blog belongs to, I am a stay-at-home mom of two little boys. Elijah is 2 and Micah is almost 9 months. I'm sure a lot of my posts will revolve around them, since my life revolves around them. My husband works hard, and often long hours, to ensure I get to stay home with our boys. This has not been an easy thing for us to accomplish. Believe me when I tell you....if you want to stay home with your kids but think you can't afford to...you can! I didn't think I was going to be able to either, but we've done it, and I'm proud of it. There are things we've had to live without, but God has graciously provided everything we've needed and then some. First he required me to take a serious leap of faith, but that's another post for another day. I love to read, scrapbook, watch movies, laugh with friends, and watch The Office (yes, I have a sense of humor....I think once I get less nervous about these posts, I'll loosen up and you might actually see it). I am finding that I am becoming more and more of a stereo-typical stay-at-home mom everyday. I find myself quoting Dr. Phil way too much, I clip coupons and love a good quick recipe and never have time to get a haircut. Yet I love it. I almost typed I love every bit of it, but that's a lie. I love it in general. I don't particularly love cleaning up after a 2-year old with the stomach flu at one in the morning. But I love snuggling with him in the rocking chair making him feel better once the cleaning up is done. So for those reading this who already know me....sorry to bore you. And for those I don't already know...it's nice to meet you.

Read more...

Hoping to Bear Fruit

It's bizarre to me that I am typing something that likely no one in particular will see, and yet I'm terribly nervous. I guess I've just been blessed so much by the blogs that I have been reading lately and I would love to think my blog could some day do that for someone else. That's why I named my blog what I did. I would love if this blog could bear fruit. By fruit I mean encouragement, maybe laughter, maybe friendship, any number of the things that I have found in the blogs that I currently enjoy. Most of all, I would love to see this blog bear fruit in the same way I try to bear fruit in my own life. Through the power of the Holy Spirit. I would be so honored if God would use my little blog to occasionally touch someone with a little love, or joy, or a little peace. It would be so fun to think that God could inspire me to type something that might make someone's day a little brighter, and therefore make it easier for them to be kinder, or gentler. And above all, I would love to be able to sometimes work things out on this blog and see the Holy Spirit work through your comments, helping me to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle and self-controlled. I know this sounds like a tall order for a little blog that doesn't even have it's first post, but I believe God knows that in 2007, blogging can be and IS a ministry. I believe this because I have already experienced the ministry he is working through so many other blogs (blogs that I will link to as soon as I know how to do that!). So ladies, I'm hoping we can bear fruit. So I am about to publish my first post. And I feel like I am jumping off a cliff.

Read more...