This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves
to be my disciples. John 15:8

Perspective. Again. and Again. (Will I ever truly get it?)

>> Sunday, January 25, 2009

Oh, perspective. You are a wonderful and yet embarrassing reality.

My life is so good. So good. I have spent numerous posts on this blog prattling on and on about the friends and family I have been blessed with. I have bored you all with the goings on of my bible studies and family gatherings. I have babbled about fun things I've gotten to do and the people who have done them with me.

Yet give me a tough couple of weeks and I'm blubbering on this blog about how miserable I am. Why am I such a wimp?

Saturday morning I woke up to a husband on his way to work. This is not a normal occurrence for our family. Despite Mark's long hours, his weekends usually remain untouched. This Saturday was the exception. I spent a better part of last week feeling very sorry for myself that Mark was having to work so much. I felt like I should be awarded with some sort of martyrdom since he was having to work on Saturday. It's true. I wouldn't have admitted it, but it's the reality. I was having a pity party (will I ever stop having those? Oh, heaven).

Before Mark left for work, I puttered around a little bit, checking emails and blogs and facebook updates, getting all of my nonsense out of the way so I could focus on being a Mommy while he was gone. One of my very dearest friends has a blog. She and I grew up together and were each other's best friends for nearly 2 decades. Time and distance have changed the dynamics of our friendship, but she will always be one of my very best friends. She and her husband, after many years of dreaming, decided to make a move and make their dreams a reality, moving to the mountains, off the grid, to a cabin on many acres. Their surrounding are beautiful yet difficult. They are character building. There is not much easy about the lifestyle that they have chosen and yet very much that is glorious. They live in an area of the country that allows them to see the magnificence of God's creation as untouched as is possible in 2009. My sweet, tree-hugging, granola-munching friend and her family are living the life they dreamed.

On Saturday I read her blog and found that her husband had lost his job. She is resting in God's peace but the truth is, it will require nothing short of a miracle for her family to stay where they are. The Lord will have to provide Chris with a very specific job, in a very specific area, with a very specific rate of pay. The good news is that God is very, VERY capable of that (you reading this, Gina?). The bad news is that it will require a tremendous amount of faith and perseverance on their part to hope for such a miracle and provision. Oh, wait...maybe that's good news, too (but I'm sitting in the cheap seats).

Bottom line is that I was hit, smack-dab in the middle of my forehead with some more perspective on Saturday before Mark headed off to work. I woke up grumpy and angry yet after reading Gina's blog, I was thankful and prayerful. I don't want to minimize Gina and Chris' situation to a mere "attitude adjustment" for me. They have a rough road ahead of them. I will be praying. I know they would love it if you would, too. But I was reminded that all of this stuff is meaningless. If we base any of our emotions or attitudes on work, jobs, stuff, etc....there will be times that will bring us nothing but depression and frustration. Instead I can remember that I have eternal hope.

Tonight, at dinner with my parents, we were discussing my Grandma's health and prognosis. My mom said "I don't want to be morbid, but...."(I cut her off). There is nothing morbid for those who believe in the hope of our Savior Jesus Christ. Here's what I know about what's going to be true when I die: I will finally be thin. I will finally have no debt, not even student loans. I will finally have my own house. And that's just the superficial. Don't even get me started about seeing Jesus face-to-face.

God is real. Jesus is real. Heaven is real. The stuff on this earth can be wonderful. It can be thrilling and beautiful. It can be heartbreaking and terrifying. But it is all meaningless when compared to the glory and magnificence of our Father in Heaven.

Perspective. If only I could keep it every minute of every day. I'm trying. The Lord knows I'm trying.


Rachel - Heart Assessment January 26, 2009 at 8:47 AM  

Perspective is good.... but your Hard is still your Hard.

Anonymous,  January 27, 2009 at 6:53 AM  

I love you friend! Thank you for your prayers, your posts, and all of the sweet things you have given to me this last week. And I am praying for grandma, too. And Rachel is right. Your hard is still your hard.


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