This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves
to be my disciples. John 15:8

The leaf is being turned over

>> Monday, June 9, 2008

The last few weeks have been less than successful for me as a wife and mother (and housekeeper, if I'm being totally honest). Between mourning the end of our vacation and Mark's ridiculous hours at work, I've been functioning in survival mode. Everyone is fed, everyone is bathed and everyone is alive. Beyond that, I haven't been able to promise much for the last two weeks. I've had glimpses of my former self, but they have been few and far between.

So last night, as I sent Mark to fetch dinner from yet another fast food restaurant, I promised him that today was going to be the day I got my act together. My husband is the kind of "every-woman's-dream" guy who never makes me feel guilty when my homemaker skills dip below average. I like to think it's because he knows that I will eventually get back on track and my skills as a wife and mother are usually so stellar that it makes up for the fact that I occasionally get into a funk like this and let things slide a little. Maybe not. In any case, it's this wonderful quality of his that sometimes makes it too easy for me to become lackadaisical about things. I know he will never so much as look at me funny if I have totally shirked my duties for a day (or three).

So today is a new day. I'm shaking off the blues from our long-gone vacation. Mark is back to normal work hours. The beds are already made and the chicken is already defrosting for dinner. As I type this, my kids are eating homemade organic blueberry and honey oatmeal.

What is really most likely to give me success today (or any day) is submitting to the Holy Spirit's authority. If I am brutally honest with myself (and with you), the reason I have been so lazy about things is because I was allowing myself to wallow in my self-pity. I built a wall of stubbornness between the Lord and I, not permitting Him access. I was having way to much fun feeling sorry for myself. Why do I do that?! I know with absolute certainty where it will lead. I know with complete 20/20 hindsight that to cut off His influence is going to take me to places I don't want to go. And yet I willingly, intentionally do it. I'm not proud of it, and I don't say these things to glorify my behavior. I just hope that for those of you reading this, you can hear me say this....Life without the Holy Spirit is no life at all. You will end up with unfolded laundry, Taco Bell for dinner and too much money spent on eBay. Or worse.

So I'm off to live in victory today. Victory over my time, over food and over money. The Lord is back in my driver's seat. I can't help but succeed.

Romans 8:31b,37 ...If God is for us, who can be against us? ...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

1 comments:

Rachel June 12, 2008 at 11:40 AM  

Kimberly! I am amazed at this post! I have felt these same things....all the way down to Taco Bell for dinner. Thanks for being so brutally honest. I need to remember that this post is titles "the leaf is being turned over" so I can re-read it on days that I know I'm trying to live my life apart from the help that the Holy Spirit gives.
I'm also in impressed with your word usage:
lackadaisical!
Nice!

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